A dog’s guide to surviving Christmas in the office

In December, things really heat up at RedBalloon – and I’m not talking about the summer weather – we’ve got paw-some cold air blowers in here (I like lying under them, they ruffle my fur) – I’m talking about lots of activity.

The humans are really busy in December, doing what they do to make thousands of people’s Christmas dreams come true. It’s a very exciting or a very stressful time, depending on how you look at it. So I’ve come up with some tips on how to be a good dog (and how to cope with the heat) in the office at Christmas.

  1. Bark gently. Humans seem to be nervy at this time of year and it’s the best way to avoid being yelled at.
  2. Don’t expect too many pats. I usually roam the office looking for the odd bit of affection. In December, the humans at RedBalloon are usually too busy to even look at me. And I’m not going to stoop to rubbing myself against their legs like a cat.
  3. If you absolutely can’t live without attention, put on a red nose. Humans love a dog dressed up as a reindeer. Don’t ask me why.

    This works, but I can tell you that I'm not so keen on doing it.

    This works, but I can tell you that I'm not so keen on doing it.

  4. Don’t eat the Kris Kringle gifts – it’s not cool.
  5. Go on regular food missions. There is usually a lot of excess food during the silly season, and the humans are far too busy to be vigilant around the bins.
  6. Learn to love Christmas carols – they get played in the office every day in December. But be warned, the humans don’t like it if you sing along.
  7. Don’t use the Christmas tree as a toilet – even though it looks like a tree and it smells like a tree, it’s still not counted as ‘outside’.
  8. Forget about the Christmas party, you’re probably not invited. Even though you didn’t want to be invited and would have declined the invite anyway and didn’t mind SITTING AT HOME WHILE YOU WERE ALL OUT HAVING FUN DRESSED UP AS PIRATES ON A BOAT.

    I mean, they KNOW how much I love dressing up as a pirate.

    I mean, they KNOW how much I love dressing up as a pirate.

  9. Don’t ignore the humans if you’re angry at them for not inviting you to the Christmas party. In December, they’re too busy to notice anyway.
  10. Tweet a lot. It makes you feel better about not being invited to the Christmas party.
  11. Sleep.

Anyway, I hope this helps. I’m going for a wander to see if there’s any food upstairs. Til next time…

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